The answers to your burning questions…

Do you have biological children?

Nope!  We decided to become parents exclusively through foster care and adoption.

Are you able to have biological children?

Who knows!?  Your guess is as good as ours!

Should I become a foster parent?

This could be the subject of an entire post all on its own.  The truth is, I could never tell someone they should be a foster parent (or adopt through foster care) just like I could never tell someone that they should or shouldn’t have biological children.  In particular, foster care is the type of thing that you can only do well and enjoy if you are “all in” (and I mean, ALL in).  Its just too damn hard to go in half-baked.   Similarly, I love being a lawyer but I would never actively try to talk someone into going to law school.  Just like foster parenting, it’s too damn hard to be a lawyer if you’re not super into it.

But, here’s what I will say: being a foster parent is my favorite thing about my life right now.  And, from what I’ve read and experienced, there are a few ways to make sure you’re coming at the whole foster parenting thing from the right head space.

Most of all, become a foster parent because you want to experience foster parenting.  Which is to say, become a foster parent or adopt from foster care because you want to help a child walk through the worst time in their life.  Foster children probably won’t love you or like you right away (if ever).  They won’t be your mini-me.  Instead, they will express their gratitude and trust in you by sharing their fears and grief with you in a way that is so raw.  They will scream, and cry, and do weird stuff and say mean things.  And when they do, if you can think of how you acted on the worst day of your life and empathize with their struggle (which is, of course, easier said than done) – foster parenting might be your thing.

Are the stories you share in the blog really true?

Yes.  However, let me qualify that.  These are my memories and my perspective.  At times, I share others’ stories.  I do so anonymously from the best of my recollection and often change certain details to protect the identities of those I have met along this journey. All dialogue is paraphrased from my memory. I’m not Ronan Farrow – I don’t walk around with a tape recorder.