When I became a foster and, ultimately, an adoptive parent, something mysterious happened. Rainbows started popping up in the comments section of my posts on social media and in my DMs. With the rainbows, came messages of hope, congratulations and often, solidarity. "We thought of adopting before we finally conceived." "My third IVF just failed.… Continue reading When Adoption is Your Plan A
After my panic in the car, we never discussed whether we could parent the quiet boy in the corner, again. It was almost as if it wasn't up for discussion. We could and we would. We were all in and would work to get him as comfortable as possible with the idea of moving him… Continue reading Apprehensive
As a caseworker, I like to work hand in hand with a foster family. It makes my job easier and provides more support to the child. Yet sometimes I cannot fathom what foster parents do, dont do, say, and/or how they act. So here are some of the things I would like to pass along […]… Continue reading Tips for foster parents from a caseworker — Child Welfare Mom
Driving away from the shelter, we sat in silence. I didn't have words. A mild panic rose up from my stomach to my throat as my mind replayed images of the 7 year old boy crashing the small plastic animals together. I thought back to that Oprah episode I watched years ago with the young… Continue reading We Can Help This One
Two days after meeting the shy, nearly mute boy in the corner, we returned to the shelter with a large cheese pizza in hand. It was a Monday night and I had left work early to make it to the shelter before they served dinner to the children at 5:30 p.m. The sun was setting… Continue reading A reluctant dinner guest
When Saturday rolled around, I was ready. When we met Marcus, I brought board games. But I had been told that this child was developmentally like a 3 or 4 year old. I googled and asked friends of kids that age, "what should I bring to meet a 7 year old who is mentally 3… Continue reading The Boy in the Corner
Our licensing worker, Frances', plan was two-fold. I would text the case-manager at the shelter where Marcus had been placed (I still had her contact information in my phone) and she would e-mail Victoria, the DCS congregate care liaison to inquire as to whether any children in a shelter or group home were ready to… Continue reading The Call
After my difficult conversation with our placement worker, I wasn't looking forward to my meeting with our licensing worker, Frances. My husband would be at work and Frances (like most people) prefers my husband over me. If we had realized the conversation would be difficult, we would have scheduled a time where he could be… Continue reading A Good Foster Parent
Spoiler alert. As of today, two years after I almost quit foster parenting, I am writing this while sitting next to my nine year old son - who lived with us as a foster placement for 18 months before we adopted him. He is the love of our lives. But two years ago this week,… Continue reading Love isn’t enough.
After a two week break, we went back on "the list." But it didn't take long for us to notice something was different this time around. We repeatedly received referral calls for children with "high needs case management" - whether or not they fit our profile. One inquiry was from Ivette, the child behavior specialist who… Continue reading The price of competence.